Feeling so out of shape and so not sexy.

Just like the title I feel horrible I don't feel empowered or anything. Everything I get really into working out something happens and then I feel like a big ugly blob again. Tonight I went to the gym after not going for awhile and I feel so out of shape and ugly. I got my hair dyed today too and it turned out fire red instead of blonde like it should have I'm just depressed.

Milestones,Teeth,Momma Blues

       My baby girl is getting so big she's getting bigger before my eyes and I just wish I could keep her my baby. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love her she makes me whole and completes me and give's me so much joy everyday and blessings and she's such a blessing to be around. It's hard to believe this beautiful person I gave birth too, Even though the drugs didn't take away the pain like they were supposed to i'd do it again in a heartbeat to have her she's my pride and joy.
        Recently she just got her first two teeth there totally popped through and there the cutest ever there her front bottom center teeth there gorgeous just like she is.She's such a trooper I can only imagine how much they hurt coming in, I'm so proud of her for everything and all she does and is and will be and I could go on and on. Well back to the teeth. I am so glad I got Hylands teething tabs for her and tylenol and advil to help her with the pain and try to take the pain away (Mommy's always make it better) that stuff really works. Now she is biting on everything but I don't mind she can bite on my fingers or her toys or her families fingers all she wants we don't mind.
          This weekend Ray and I are going up north for a best friends birthday and for a horror convention and a food challenge.So my in-laws are watching Madison.I dropped her off with them at 8 and I am missing her like crazy already. Sometimes when us as parents get tired we always say we want a break.But the truth is when we're not with them we miss them like crazy.I miss my baby like crazy I love her soo very much!.I'll be happy to see her on Sunday and hug her.I am so blessed to have such a wonderful little girl who is beautiful smart wonderful and so many other things she's my world.

Not even worth my Breath

First off my birth father is a mean old man who doesn't really care if he has kids out there and he deffinetly doesn't care about the kids he helped to make. He abandoned every one of his 6+ kids but one who he still lives with. I gave him a chance before to be in my and my families life because that's just the person I am and I thought what would heavenly father want me to do.Heavenly Father always says not to hate anyone so I was trying not to and then he turned me and my family down and cursed and screamed in my 6mth old daughters and my ears.

So sometimes me being a human I tend to think of him and today I was and I was like he's not even worth the breath it takes to think of him.He doesn't deserve my breath he doesn't deserve anything he's a worthless sorry excuse for a man.

The End.

Guys

       Shouldn't guys get the hint when us gals want something like attention sometimes.Seriously we can give the most unsubtle hint and our guy be totally oblivious. Here's a hint to all the guys out there if you see your women lingering longer getting dressed she wants something.Or if we keep on talking about something also,That's our subtle hints for you guys to catch on to.

Cant get my mind around this.

This Boston Bombing has turned our world upside down. I just can't believe someone would come into our country (Land of the free home of the brave) and try to blow us up after our country just gave them permanent citizenship a year ago. This whole thing just boggles my mind. I've been thinking about all the peoples lives it affected and totally changed there lives. Just because these two brothers our world is changed forever. We will never forget we will never let them get away with this our justice system will take care of them, it has too. I feel so bad for all those people I wish there was something I could do.

In may I will be running my first race and I cant imagine something like this happening when you run a race you look forward to it.Especially the BOSTON MARATHON. People work there whole lives to get into that race. These people took away the safeness and the perfectness of the Boston Marathon Forever.Will the marathon still be going on every year will our kids get to see it who knows.

          This whole thing is just horrible.

The wonders of being a Mom and Me.

Things have been hectic lately and crazy and just plain insane.I have started again and again this conquest of loosing weight or i've just been continuing it because really it never ends.Well about two weeks ago I did something to my back which i've found out is I slipped a disc and did soft tissue damage. Well it has basically made me lay up my workout moved for a couple weeks  recover I have about 1 or two weeks to go but I have substituting working out since i cant for eating healthy and I have been getting more into protein shakes. Peanut butter protein shakes I have lived on for these past couple days and eating healthy it has worked last time i weighed myself im down 4 pds woot woot. Well with all this I have been down in the dumps a bit but my daughter has made everything brighter she's just awesome.Her and my Mom and Ray and Chris has been helping me get through this.Thank goodness the back injury i have is not permanent so i should be back on my game in a week or so.My doc doesn't want me to think of my 5k right now but how can i not i've already paid the entrance fee and I want to do this for me and face it i want to get painted (Woodstock 2013) maybe hmmm. We'll at Woodstock I think alot of people were single i'm just doing it as a married lady but hey we can still have fun and one of my bffs will be there so partay time. Well i'm off to make dinner for my hubs before his game night.................. laters baby.

Ick

So hate when mother nature comes it makes me want food that's bad for me and that's horrible when your on a diet. Then after having the food I feel totally horrible. I feel like the grossest person like I can feel myself sweating out the junk food and I hear myself in my head talking bad about myself it's such a horrible feeling. During this time my self esteem is at a all time low.