Trying to better myself.

So I'm trying to better myself and get to the place where I've always wanted, strived to be. To get over the working out hump where it doesn't feel so much like a chore and actually feels fun. I just had a baby almost 5 months ago and I want to get into good shape so I can be proud of myself. A lot of people call hot Mom's MILFS but I don't even feel very hot right now body wise yes I'm not like 300lbs but I'm not in shape either. I know it takes time but I want to get there.
         I'm starting to hate excuses because I use them all the time about why I don't work out but here's one. I have been sick and it turned into bronchitis which is even worse by the fact that I'm a asthmatic also. I was in the ER for 3 hrs 2 days ago and now I'm on some good medicine to kick this bronchitis's Butt. So Hopefully I'll feel better soon. We're lucky enough to have great parents who have taken the baby so I can get better and rest. This medicine is awesome but it makes me dizzy so I'm a little disoriented at times so not to umm graceful I guess (lost as to the other word I was thinking of...Brain Fart...). I miss my Baby like crazy though. I have been wondering what she has been doing and if she has started doing any new things. She's my baby she's my buddy just like I'm my Mom's buddy too we're two pea's in a pod we're like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get with us (I know a Forest Gump line I Love That Movie it never gets old).
        I hope that when I get better I go back to the gym for a hour to a couple hours a day and do my workout dvd's at home and walk and such too that's my mission that's what I want that's what I strive to do. I have mostly everything ready to help me accomplish that. Now I just have to HAKUNA MATADA and just do it. Today I did make a protein shake instead of having oatmeal I have had a fear of having cereal with milk because of the bronchitis and I can't eat dry cereal so I'm limited although I am going to start eating my Yogurt, Cottage cheese and cheese because I don't want them to go to waste like my milk did buh hum bug. But anyway my protein shake had plain Greek yogurt, Berries, whey protein and orange juice in it and I blended it with my Magic Bullet(Gosh I love that thing). I can do this I can do this I can do this. 

Mom with the flu

I really don't know how we as Mom's do it we'll I guess I do we just do it because we have too but wow it's hard. I find myself as weak as can be but still getting up to take care of the baby and still find a way to muster out the energy to make crazy faces and sounds just so I can see and hear her laugh. I did ask my hubby if he could work from home today since he has the ability too to help me out a bit because that's how horrible I felt. I woke up at 6am with a coughing attack and preceded to go to the bathroom to get control of it to not wake up the baby and I stayed out in the living room (but I so missed my bed).I attempted to sleep on the couch until my phone went off saying two new emails which I don't know how to turn the voice thing off so yeah that sucked and then lil Miss woke up at 7 and that was all folks were up well I am and she is to start our day. When you have the flu your patients are so thin trying to feed the baby her applesauce and milk I felt like I was gonna collapse on her highchair whch would not be good.I made apple and cinnamon oatmeal and pumpkin spice coffee for me but even eating and drinking takes a lot especially when its for me. When I'm sick I could go without food all together but I know I have to eat.I wanted to start working out this week but if I don't have the energy to do normal things how am I ever going to have the energy to work out. I so hope Ray and Madison don't get this flu/cold whatever it is.I hope I feel better soon I want to be able to be the energetic Mom/Wife I want to be and will be. 

Birth Dad Drama

So my bd hasnt been realky in my life in 25 years a lot of stuff went down before I was born.I didnt get the Daddy experiance but I got one heck of a Mom.Every major thing that happens in my life he trys to get in when I got married and when I had my baby.A lot of people say he wants the reward but didnt want to work for it by helping raise me. I did want to give him a chance to be in our life again so Madison could know my birthfather and not just hear bad things about him but it didnt work and there's just too much drama.I wish Madison never had to know what happend between my mom and him but I know sometime she's going to find out. She's a smart girl. I dont think people know all the effects divorce has on kids it doesnt matter how old they are. My Mom is Fantastic but I will always have Daddy Issues that's just how it is.I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR MY MOM AND I WILL ALWAYS HAVE HER
BACK YOU MESS WITH MY MOM OR MY FAMILY YOU MESS WITH ME.