Parents to a little one going to elementary school

Well things always happen things always change it's weather you embrass them or not is weather your going to accept them.

    We have a amazing super talented intelligent three in a half old daughter who is unlike anyone else because she is her own person. We embrace the person she is and we would never want to change that in a million trillion years. She has always done things at her own pace and that's good. Now we have been trying to get her to talk more and be I guess more social. So shes going to be starting a new preschool program and its at a elementary school which is scary because its 5 days a week and 8 to 330 and its scary because i am so used to having her with me all day and not having her with me is going to be a big change. So the preschool program is at a elementary school does that mean I have a elementary schooler or a pre schooler That is the question? etheir way I do not know if i am ready. I just do not want them to hurt her or make her feel her difference is not right and that she has to mold into what other people think she should be when she should always be herself. I know I had a bad experience in school and I should let her have her own experience and not let my experience affect hers and I just pray and hope her experience is so much better then mine and I hope school systems and special education has changed a lot since I was in school. I want her to have a much better life then I did I want her to accomplish everything she wants and I want her to have everything she wants. If she has a dream of a ivy league school like harvard i do not want people to say she cant have it or shes not smart enough. She is the smartest little girl I know and I love her to peices,

Well now we have to go school shopping we need a backpack and a lunch box and food for lunches and school supplies etc wow this is all too real.

Our new bundle of joy wrapped in blue!!!.

On August 17, 2015 we welcomed the most beautiful baby boy to complete our family I went in on the 16th and had him on the 17th. His labor was much easier then Madison's but it had obstacles of its own. Our son was built strong so he had very wide shoulders and thus came with shoulder distocia which just means his shoulders were so wide they were hard to get through my birth canal. My doctor had to try three different things to get him out and luckily everything went as smoothly as it did because the risks of shoulder distocia is temporary paralysis or permanent or he could have broke his shoulders but thank goodness that didn't happen. We named our sweet little man Braden. I never knew I could ever love another person like I love him he just lights up our lives and we are so grateful for him. He is my little side kick.

New House New Breath Of Fresh Air!!.

We moved into our amazing awesome home in the end of june and we love it!!! its so much better so much more free er if you know what I mean less cramped and claustrophobic and not hopeless like the last place. The last place was a nice starter place and we had many great memories there but we just grew out of it. It came to a point where we resented it and what it was doing to us it was making us sad and unhappy. Anyone who knew us knew we had to move. We went to a bbq today and people were asking about our new place and we were telling them how amazingly great it is as we were telling them they would say or just act like you must be so relieved to be out of the old place. everyone knew how much of a toll it took on us mentally and physically.


   It's so weird but great at the new place which I didn't wan to at the old place I actually love cleaning here and making it nice and perfect and our home!! I feel so much pride!!! I want everything to be perfect even the grout in the tiles its just awesome I love love love love love love it here!!!! we all do!!!. well that's all for now talk to you soon.

My Grandfather

My Grandfather was and will always be one of my best friends I miss him with all my heart and soul every day. It never gets easier you just learn to deal with your emotions better. He was my rock the man I always looked up too. He was my father when I needed one and my supporter all the time, he always believed in me and my goals and dreams. My faith in heavenly father and heaven tells me  and shows me I will see him again and I know I will. I feel him around me all the time he's in my thoughts and in my prayers and in my heart and in the way I do things that remind me of him. He knows my hopes and dreams for my daughter my beautiful baby Madison and the life I want to give her and the life I want her to have.
 
I MISS HIM AND LOVE HIM.

What the mind see's

The way your body is and the way your mind sees your body is two different things. In my mind I'm a 130- 140lb bubbly active girl who loves herself and her appearance. In reality I have totally let myself go from a life of not eating correctly and not exercising regularly. Never in my life have I been in shape not even when I was a child. I want to overcome all these hurdles and see what my mind see's I want my daughter to see what my mind see's I want her to know that mommy wants her to have the best mommy and most in shape and healthy mommy she can have. I am going to try to loose 20lbs in a month.

Being Mommy To A Sick Kiddo

 Knock on wood........ this is the first time Madison has been really sick she's had ear infections and such before but this upper respitory infection is different. I have never seen so much bodily fluids in a long time and then kids being kids they smear them everywhere. I have been giving Madison nebulizer treatments since Friday (that's when It got to the need to see a doc point) the nebulizer treatments are working she is getting better slowly but surely. In this mess of her being sick she has gotten me sick so we are sick buddies I am so bad at being sick ughh. Asthma doesn't make it any better when i'm sick like this it feels as if a elephant is on my chest doing a circus show ( on another note that circus disaster is crazy) well not being able to breathe is not fun not being able to take deep breathes is horrible and it means no working out or running. With all this sickness and not being able to work out it has meant I am gaining weight which I hate I cant wait until I am healthy and can work out again. I took a shower and felt as if I was gonna faint so I had to sit down and relax its so a sweat outfit day.

If you know me

You know that my bio person who helped make me who doesn't deserve the title parent has done nothing to help me through life but only give me grief.  I still remember the last thing he has said to me.  I fucking hate you I don't want you in my life don't ever fucking call me and he has also said I tried to wrouin his life. Everytime I have thought of him I remember him saying that and it reminds me why I don't need that acid in my life. He doesn't deserve to be a blip on my radar.